“Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line, the men come and take you away”
— “For What It’s Worth”, Buffalo Springfield
The whole drama starts with the world’s foremost economist and leading expert on eating habits of “tribes”, George Bush saying,
“Prosperity in countries like India is `good’ but it triggers increased demand for `better nutrition’, which in turn leads to higher food prices.”
Indian press did a remarkable job in blowing it out of proportions, despite the known fact to everybody that the American president is not exactly someone with IQ in three digits. (Some, I for instance, even claim that chimpanzees are smarter than George W. Bush!) It is proof enough that Indian media has a collective IQ in single digit. Okay… that’s an exaggeration: it has a collective IQ in 3 digits, factually.
Have Indians (with turbans, not with feathers) started eating a lot of late? That depends! Are monkeys, chimps, elephants, fish, dogs, horses, snakes, cows, goats, hen, cocks, peacocks Indians if they are born in India, or if their ancestors belong to India? If yes, I hypothesize that President Bush’s remarks are imagined just like he imagined weapons of mass destruction — whatever that phrase means. The food intake, in that case, can’t be higher because the human Indians eat the other Indians in the name of their increased food supplies. Even if the answer to the question that started this para is in negative, the remarks are, albeit true, still in bad taste. Bad taste because we Indians never liked eating words coming out of a monkey’s mouth! One will eat however much (s)he likes and can afford, and if one has an objectionable opinion, it should keep that to itself. [Note the use of `it’ for President Bush!]
Amazingly, Bush could never recollect recent memories of hike in the fuel prices due to the war he waged against his own imagined fears in middle-east! Forgetfulness is just remotely related to IQ, so, if you think your President has a minuscule intelligence because he is forgetful, simply put, you’re wrong. That is how he has been all his life… probably.
So, not eating for 3 days in protest after reading/listening such horrific, mind-boggling and insensitive remarks in the media, and also in an effort to bring the prices down, Indians decided to come to terms with the monkey and the American’s with this demand: Eat Less, Fatties, thus proving that Indians are not too bright either. I was really surprised with the following,
“U.S. Eats 5 Times More than India Per Capita” blared a headline in the Times of India above a typical story outlining the massive disparities between the amount of grains, meat and vegetables the average American and average Indian consumes. The message from many Indians over the past two weeks has been stark: Americans should stop blaming others and start eating less.
Seriously, however patriotic it may sound, let me ask, “You can’t provide to your people and you ask others to eat less… how thoughtful is that?”