This Week in Bullshit

There is three types of multimedia advertising in this world: 1. That I like, especially those “banned commercials” for they’re funny and mostly have carnal undertones (or the other way around — those are funny because of their reference to certain taboos). 2. That I do not take a note of, 3. All ads have some degree of foul crap in them, but this is the category that is known as complete, utter bullshit.

The following series of adverts with gorgeous backdrops is in the third category. Take a look:

If you’re not convinced yet, please get an Airtel 4G connection in Bangalore, or any Airtel “G” connection for that matter, for it’ll make me feel better! I will have 1. another fellow sufferer, 2. one more to curse and yell at Airtel customer service/care; Airtel needs all it can get as customer outrage for it to change things for good.

Coming back to the ads, I hope for the future that Airtel marketers would be competent enough to hire a competent ad agency that does not think that the rest of the world is not as smart as they’re, and could at least have made those little films more realistic than showing bunch of people watching a prerecorded video with “Airtel 4G bar” pasted on top. I mean, REALLY?!

Enough of my bullshit… Someone please integrate WordPress and Twitter better, so that I can directly tag Airtel India’s Twitter handle here, rather than making a reference to this post in a separate tweet tagging them.

This Week in (Politics ∩ Sycophancy)

Back! Some old pals (students) reminded me that I had something in the name of a blog. So I thought of making it a playground to record the bullshit interesting bits all around.

On that warning/thinly veiled threat, we start with the following exemplary tales of “devotion”.

  1. Union minister M Venkaiah Naidu’s herculean effort in taking servile sycophancy to a new level
  2. Fixed for flattery! How IAS officers sacrificed a T20 match at the altar of UP CM Akhilesh Yadav

I know that flattery will get you far. Apparently, India’s bureaucrats and politicians are also aware of this lesson from a top management school. So let me go flatter my woman now.

EDIT: FirstPost staff and authors need not think that I’m flattering them by linking to their posts.

Sarcasm 101 and Breasts

One of my friends has a big problem with both Jesse Randhawa and Ayesha Takia. She thinks Randhawa girl doesn’t have breasts and Takia girl has got more than her share, “humongous giant” ones. Every time she utters those two adjectives in conjunction and the word “breasts” in the same sentence, I go into a laughter frenzy, ending up with either tears in my eyes, or rolling on the floor laughing; sometimes I even laugh my ass off. May be it is simply funny or it is the spontaneity with which she expresses her opinion on such matters.

Frankly, I’ve not seen Ms. (Mrs.?) Randhawa, and I don’t have a very good understanding of women’s breast sizes, apart from ogling at them sometimes, but I do understand breast jokes. So, here it is, the bestbreast song” ever:

The same friend of mine has offered me her exclusive lessons on sarcasm and “picking loose threads in a conversation to make it more entertaining,” at very affordable rates. She is charging that measly sum of money because she’ll design the course according to individual needs — how imbecile her pupil is. Mr. Chandler Bing (of F.R.I.E.N.D.S) offers his lessons, or at least the one that follows, for free.

Heh! Could you be any more gullible? 😉